Fuck a Record Company

I know this sounds cliche but you know how you have those bizarre New York moments? Extremely unlikely scenarios made slightly more comprehensible by the fact that some quality of the experiences themselves presuppose you’re in NYC?

Well we had two this weekend. First of all we ran into a famous actress. Apparently she’s on Law and Order, a very elegant african american woman named Alyssa. Her husband is a stuntman. Bitchin. We came astride her walking in to visit a friend then rode the elevator with her. She got cute-mauled by her puppy at her door. She’s my friend’s immediate neighbor. Iconic beauty in relief against pedestrian ambling. Then we got a cab ride from one of those useless geniuses — our’s was a russian guy who could tell you the day of the week of your birthday or any date in the last century. It pained me to think that humanity has no better uses for a mind as sharp and unique as his, but hey man, I know a chess grandmaster who is a parking lot attendant. Mentally I’ve filed these two experiences right next to the time I got in an accident in a cab; the time I got a flat tire in a cab; and the times I ran in to Calysta Flockhart on the street, Brent Spiner at a diner (totally true) and Willem Dafoe in a bathroom.

enough rambling
onto the important stuff
we drove down from RI to arrive in brooklyn. there was no cucumber juice left and I was flabergasted and bewildered by the rucus of a rock concert going on in Stoney’s crib.
The band was called “stab the glitter” or something. I forget. I must admit: I didn’t listen. It’s not that they weren’t good ( in fact I’m sure they rule by transitivity and Stoney’s taste) its just that we had been driving and coordinating all day and we had expected that show to be over when we arrived. The fact that other people were rocking on what we had been anticipating as “our stage” induced some pretty heavy cognitive dissonance. I was also astounded that a loud-ass rock concert was going on in the middle of the day — loud enough that the occupants of every apartment of a whole block could – not just hear it but were obliged to – hear it very well, and nobody gave a shit. What about naps? Had Brooklyn foreclosed on naps? How did we wind up in such a godforesaken place?

We set up, got some grupbs, did a photo shoot and got a brief chance to visit with some old friends.


I posted the following portrait because it’s so rare. Stoney is always taking pictures. Like thousands a day – it’s what he does when he’s not rapping. He has a photograph-the-photographer project but I think secretly that he wants to be the subject more often. just look how pyshced he is to be witnessing the chroinicling of his own witness.

or something

So we had just met Louis Logic the night before but we we all enjoyed each other’s company enough for us to be comfortable asking him to come play with us in Brooklyn. And wouldn’t you know it he accepted.

He brought a friend:
Johnny October
Johnny is an excellent MC.
So at this point ther are at least 17 mega-talented MCs in the house (e.g. Dread Mighty Sine, Optimus from Project Lumens, Stoney Ashes & Mental Stamina, Blak) was only fitting that we had a cipher to get things warmed up.

blak lungz is so fucking talented that during his sets 97% of people watch in amazement transfixed as if by medusa, 2% of people passionately make out and 1% of people spontaneously explode

rosetta killed it look out for the new cubbiebear remix of witchcraft — it’s bonkers

mathpanda in full force is really something to be reckonned with. Sometimes the freshness hurts

I can always tell that I’ve done a good job freestyling when I can’t remember anything said. I don’t remember much from that night, although that could have been the alcohol. I did wind up sleeping on an inviting pile of plywood. fortunately for us both there is video! as the night wound down we got treated to a guest DJ spot by Sinton, and played a dangerous game of indoor skateboard-garbage-polo. after a close brush with new york’s finest a la washerdrop it was time to call it a night.

A pleasure as always Big Apple!

This weekend RynBurnsMC Metaphysical and I headed up to Roger Williams University to play WQRI’s hip hop inaugural quadrennial along with Bad Rabbits, and Louis Logic.

Ryn made new buttons in the car.

The designs are based on fractals generated by code written by David Wallace for Context Free. And their stereoisomers of course.

We met some nice folks. The show was on campus and “dry.” So -claro que si- we went to a dorm room (complete with dude in his underwear playing Xbox) and shotgunned some keystone lights Raphael Style i.e. using the badass lusterous sai that happened to be hanging on the wall next to a totally pro rig for holding beerpong balls made out of a paper towel tube. God I wish I had a picture; it was glorious engineering.

First up was Boston-based Bad Rabbits

Then we played

or rather Ryn got kicked in the balls and I had a seizure.

Louis started off on piano and covered Biz Markie’s “Just a Friend.” It’s quite a rendition — preserves all the innocence and playfulness of the song while adding a degree of musicianship not present in the original. It helps that Louis does it by hand so to speak. Like made by hands on a real instrument. Crafted as opposed to sampled.

But you can’t rap sitting down forever.

I am constantly amazed by how little I know about good music, and somehow Louis Logic was mostly below my radar until the show. No longer. His new surf-rap band Spork Kills has finally achieved that holy grail of indie hip-hop: The tryptych live energy, pop sensibility, and autodisconsideration. I’ve had the rare pleasure of seeing him do a few of the new songs twice now and I can’t wait for the full album to drop.

After the show we waxed philosophic for a while in the palatial apartment the U rented for us.

We discussed professionalism. For serious.

I think it’s safe to say that the co-eds had a good time.

Biggups to WQRI, The Harvard Divinity School contingent, and the crew from RWU

We played a party in DC for our friend Erin’s birthday

The Birthday Girl Herself with Grey Matter

Grey Matter brought a homie from Cab Crew. And let me tell you: Gio sure can make people have fun dancing. He should do it professionally. Seriously. That’s actually a real job. My friend Darcy used to do it at bar Mitzvahs and whatnot.

Grey Matter

Metaphysical smoked his spinach and managed to make the creepiest face I’ve seen in a long time

Blak Lungz joined us. He and Maroo harmonize like phase shifted sine waves

fun party

Caverns is doing a few shows with Dillinger Escape Plan.

I think I’m gonna tag along.

Their new record Kittens! is the a fun romp through metal woods hence unknown.

Check out the pictures of their album release party at 9:30 courtesy of Mr. Ashes of Eat The Cake.

You can buy it from us on their myspace page.

I made my first ringtone yesterday. Super fun.

You can find good tutorials and videos on youtube.

here are some tips:

You can rip the audio from any youtube video with this

Use an audio editor like audacity to compress and amplify the signal. A ringtone has no business being dynamic.

Experiment by calling yourself to find out how long your phone rings. Nominally, most phones are 20 seconds and they must be under 30. My phone was actually more like 18. So I time shifted the sample I wanted to use (originally ~21 seconds), and then pitch corrected back down to the original register so now it ends cleanly on the beat and isn’t squeaky. A little anal I suppose, but I figured I might hear this like a billion times since I’m so goddamned popular.

a few little tricks in itunes and one can have a kickass custom ringtone.